Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Apocalypse Prep

Building on Angie's talk of zombies yesterday, clearly I need to touch on the need to develop an apocalypse prep kit. Since 2012 is closing on us at lightning speed and those crafty Mayans were pretty dang sure that's the end of the world, you'll want to be ready for it. Whether it's an alien invasion, a series of natural disasters, a comet hurtling toward the earth, or the arrival of our much anticipated robot overlords, you still have to complete some basic preparations.

  • Buy dry goods and bottled water
  • Reinforce your basement
  • Install adequate ventilation
  • Stock your shelter with plenty of books
  • Get a generator
  • Make friends with a crazy-eyed survivalist. (It's better if he's hot, as you may be stuck repopulating the world with him later.)
  • Shop for weapons with him.
  • Learn basic self-defense in case the zombies / aliens / robots get into your bunker. (This does not mean re-watching the first season of Supernatural.)
  • Select a fitting soundtrack for your seclusion. (I recommend creepy oldies songs such as those found in Fallout 3, including Way Back Home, I'm Tickled Pink and Butcher Pete.)
  • Buy cheap spare clothing on eBay. (You won't be going to the mall for a while.)
  • Learn to sew. (See prior point.)
  • Embrace gas-mask chic.
If you need more help getting ready for the apocalypse, please see these helpful links:

Emergency Kits
Urban survival tools

So now you're ready to stock your shelter. What's going in your emergency kit?


azteclady said...

More books, plenty of craft stuff (hey, it is possible I would get tired of readi...

Scratch that--more books.


Angie Fox said...

Oh yes - I'm all for potentially hot survivalists. Which begs the question - your fallout shelter or mine?

Ann Aguirre said...

I definitely want chocolate. How long does chocolate stay good?

Marnie Colette said...

1)Some fuel for the generator or some handy dandy solar power thingy.

2)More than one hunky survivalist... just in case one gets hurt.

3)Chocolate and more chocolate.

4) A comfy bed for all those lonely nights of isolationism.

5) A book on basic chemistry, biology and diseases - I always thought that this would be important. Maybe a quick fix book on things like cars and such just in case I was to get free.

6) A soap - lots of it. Just because its the end of the world doesn't mean that one doesn't need to be clean.

7) Books, books and more books.

8) Seed packets - just in case we can one day go back outside.

Shawn said...

A trained cockroach! He needs to know Morse code so that he can bring me news from the outside world. Of course he'd have to be a clean cockroach, because otherwise it's just gross, but we all know that that's the only animal that's going to survive a nuclear holocaust or any other disaster!

Oh wait......that means I need to learn Morse Code too or I won't know what he's saying....

Ann Aguirre said...

Marnie, when I was working on my sekrit project, I actually researched pioneer ways / easiest way to make soap. Apparently lye, Crisco, olive oil and water makes a very nice soap! The seeds are a great idea. *g*

Shawn, you can have the cockroach. I think I'd rather go with Marnie's idea and share my bunker with -two- hot survivalist guys.

Carmen R said...

Ok hmmm lets see. Yes I have it now. Plenty of booze. I mean that hot survivalist will get on my nerves after awhile no matter how hot he is. So the booze will help out. Oh and a life time supply of tampons. I mean come on who would want to have to go for ever with out them. Plus they could be used for other things like stopping a nose bleed or to stuff into survivalist guys mouth to shut him up. Oh and when you have tampons it's like a vacation in a box. You can go horseback riding, running, fishing swimming. Ha! life would never be boring again.

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

I want to go out with a bang. Stand on the beach like in the movie Deep Impact and let a huge 100 foot wave wash me away.

Ann Aguirre said...

Carmen, you should also how to make your own booze. *g* Today's potato=tomorrow's vodka! I had an auntie who made apple wine in her cellar fo realz

Ann Aguirre said...

Katie, that's one brave way to face the end! Will you have a hot survivalist at your side?

Katiebabs a.k.a KB said...

We will recreate the kissing scene from the classic movie- From Here to Eternity do a few shots of my favorite alcohol and wait to be washed away.

Angie Fox said...

I'm loving these answers. I think our team is set - minus a half dozen hunky survival dudes and the genius cockroach.

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Dude, you forgot the alcohol!!

word verification: gasidat


Ann Aguirre said...

That's what the potato is for! We're totes making our own hooch in my bunker. I'll watch MASH reruns to puzzle out the still...

Natalie Hatch said...

Okay Ann, along with Nick Frost and Simon Pegg I want Bear Grylls on my survival team. That guy can find food and make shelter etc anywhere. And it doesn't hurt that he's very sexy.
If Bear's busy I want any Australian SAS soldier I can find. Those guys are sooo amazing, take my hat off to them. (and yep they're pretty hot too - don't tell my hubby he's not being picked on my team).

Angie Fox said...

Bear Grylls is hot. He can certainly hang out in my fall out shelter. And Sawyer was looking pretty good last night too. He's good at surviving. Let's just hope he can't find a shirt in the apocalypse.

Ann Aguirre said...

Oh man, my husband loves that show! Man vs Wild? I must admit, some of it totally skeeves me out. Bear seems obsessed with environments that force you to drink your pee.

(He's still hot, but I don't know that I'd kiss him on the mouth.)

Angie Fox said...

I love that show too. But I think I oogle Bear too much. My husband is always like, "Yeah, I knew that from Army training. He's not all that."

The worst thing I ever saw Bear eat (other than the pee drinking) is when he bit the head off a leach and then sucked out the insides. Ewwwww!

Ann Aguirre said...

I just thought of something else I need in my kit. My Nivea face cream!

Natalie Hatch said...

You have Sawyer Angie, I'm taking Bear! I go for beta heroes, you can have your alpha male Sawyer - I don't go for two day regrowth - like em smooth shaven myself.
Ann how can you go from talking about sucking leeches blood to face cream? I missed the segway on that one. LOL
I love that show Man vs Wild. Hubby was in the Int Corp. so he did a lot of training in the Kimberleys up in the north of Australia. He reckons he's got the beat on Bear - though if he starts drinking his own pee I won't be happy.

Ann Aguirre said...

Angie was talking about leeches, not me! I changed topic to face cream BECAUSE of the leeches. :D

Jess Granger said...

I know how to make beer! As soon as we go back outside, we can start a little garden, grow some barley and hops, and I'm good to go.

Oh, and I'd need a sparge apparatus, propane burner, about ten feet of tubing, a five gallon glass jug, a six gallon glass jug, caps, airlock.

Will all these things fit?

Wine might be a little easier. Hmmm.


azteclady said...



That's it, I go for the LOST always sweet smelling Sawyer and/or Jack, with Locke in reserve for survival skillz.

(plus a few "how to" manuals on everything I can think of--and more chocolate)

Natalie Hatch said...

I've got an SAS survival book. But I still want Bear.
I had to teach my students how to make beer and wine for science one year. They put in 7 times the amount of yeast needed. No one was allowed to touch the stuff, it was almost pure ethanol. LOL. Teens!