Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Special Guest: Sarah Wendell

Today we have Smart Bitch Sarah in the house.


I interrupt this interview to announce the winner!
TAROT BY ARWEN!
Email me at ann.aguirre at gmail.com to get your copy of this book. Congrats.

And back to the interview...



Along with her co-author, Candy Tan, she has written a kick-ass nonfiction guide to romance novels called BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS. She's been touring all over the place and making the world smile, but amid her busy schedule, she agreed to answer a few questions here at Something Wicked.

1. If you could have a yoga position named after you, what would it be? Why?


Moarsleepclonebitchasmallassana. Wherein I can sleep, blog, eat, and do my day job all at the same time, by the virtues of tantric cloning. Om, motherfucker.


2. What’s the kitten-shits story that led to you meeting Candy and founding Smart Bitches? If it’s hella long, you can provide the Reader’s Digest Condensed version.


Back in the days when I didn't have small children and therefore had acres of extra time, I used to make my own cat food using raw meat and vegetables. I was like an amateur pet food nutritionist, only not good at math and formulas. I used to blog about the cat food recipes (because what is the internet for if not for inviting people to make epic fun of your sorry ass?) and one day, Candy discovered my blog after adopting two kittens who had epic runny poos. Nothing she did would calm the epic kitten shits. She started making her own pet food recipes and was looking for more (I think) and found my site. Then she started leaving THE LONGEST COMMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF THE GODDAM WORLD OMGWTF and regularly haunting my site. After the tsunami I mistakenly remembered that she was from Indonesia (she's Malaysian) and asked after her family's safety. She corrected me nicely, we started emailing back and forth, someone brought up romance novels, and Smart Bitches was born.So that's the real root of Smart Bitches: infant feline diarrhea. Fitting, oui?


3. What’s your favorite romance of all time? (Yes, you have to pick one and justify that decision.)


You know I skipped this question and STILL can't pick just one. DAMMIT.


OK: Bitten by Kelley Armstrong. 1. it schooled me that paranormal romance had a LOT to say about human nature 2. Armstrong PWND the whole free ebook idea early on by offering PDF downloads of the backstory of Bitten characters. 3. Smoldering hero = hott. 4. I've read it a shitload of times and could still read it again.


4. You’ve been accosted by a smelly dude on the subway and he’s insisting you do an improbable romance heroine cover art pose, lest the frottage commence. What pose do you choose? Why that one? Really? Okay, then.


If he's smelly, no question: the one where I'm facing away from him. For one thing, I can elbow him in the man junk if he tries anything, and for another, I'm out of the direct line of stank.


5. What’s your single best dish (assuming you cook)? If not, what’s your favorite thing to order?


I love to bake. Dessert = WIN. My best dish: chocolate ginger cookies with fresh ginger, dark chocolate, cocoa and spices. OMG YUM. The recipe is hella-intense, so I only make them at Hanukkah. Adam (the hubby) begs for them all year. One year I made some for his birthday (in July) and I thought he was going to weep with joy.


6. How did you meet Mr. Smart Bitch? What makes him Mr. Romance and how does he compare to romance novel heroes?


Oh, lord. This is nauseating. I met Adam in high school. I had been an exchange student to Spain my Jr. year, and was reasonably fluent in Spanish. So Senior year I took Latin. And I HATED the class, particularly the teacher. So I transferred to Spanish 5, thinking that if I were already fluent, I'd get an A. I did get an A, but an "unsatisfactory" in citizenship, which was my school's equivalent of "how badly you fuck around in class." Adam was in my Spanish class, and I had a massive, MASSIVE crush on him. We ended up dating other people that year, but the summer after our Freshman year of college, we ended up working at the same sleepaway camp. After that summer, we were a couple, and have been since. That was in 1994. Holy shit. I just did the math. Wow.

Adam is Mr. Romance for a million little reasons. He's an exceptional father. He's hilarious. He's incredibly smart (he hates when I tell people this but he was the valedictorian of our high school class - one of two. I was NOT the other one. I failed all my classes in Spain except English and as a result had an abysmal transcript). He likes to cook dinner. He LOVES to do laundry. And he's my biggest fan.

The only real difference between him and an actual romance novel hero: Adam does not have epic man titty. This is a good thing.


7. What’s the one thing we need to know about your book, Beyond Heaving Bosoms?


Our goal: to make you lose bladder control at least once while reading it. Take the Bosoms challenge! See if you can read it without wetting yourself!


8. Bonus question: (fill in with whatever you’d like to answer that I didn’t cover)


Best thing about starting SBTB: discovering a shitload of authors (like you, wench!) of whom I might not have heard but by whom I am so very very entertained. Talented, smart people frequent our website. I am extrordinarily fortunate to have met so many amazing people.



Now, lucky commenters, a random person will win a copy of this hilarious magnum opus.

28 comments:

Pissenlit said...

My orange juice nearly ended up all over my computer! Bwa ha ha! That was all kinds of awesome! Congrats on the release!

Jackie Ballway said...

Because of SBTB I now look for epic man titty wherever I go. This is not a good idea when you tend to visit Wal-mart in the wee hours of the morning. *shudders*

Blodeuedd said...

Haha so fun :)
And I too do love love Bitten, not to mention it was my first ever paranormal book. It will always have a special place in my heart

Leslie said...

Thanks for the wonderful interview Sarah! I'd love to take the Bosoms challenge. :)

SaturnMoonie said...

Ok where the heck was I, under a rock!? Why did I not know of this book's existence? I need it, I want it, I. MUST. HAVE. IT!!!

Jess Granger said...

I've also got to get my hands on a copy of this book. LOL

Margay said...

What a fun interview! And I'm willing to put the loss of bladder control to the test for a chance at a copy of this book. I'll just read it in the bathroom.
Margay

Ann Aguirre said...

I thought it was a pretty awesome interview myself. Sarah is even more fun in person.

Joy said...

Sarah is so funny. I must make room in my book budget for this book (assuming I don't win a copy).

Great interview!

Uncommon Jen said...

This interview had me laughing so hard! Great stuff

Tarot By Arwen said...

Okay.. the kitten shit story made me pee myself, bitches. That is such a great "how did you meet" story!

lillie_80 said...

I want, I want, I want!

Janicu said...

I kinda like the Mr. Smart Bitch story.

limecello said...

Fabulous interview! And oh my gosh - baking = love. Haha, Sarah, you wouldn't be willing to share that cookie recipe, would you?!?!
lol too cute about Adam! And um - if you ever figure out that yoga position, you need to teach me!

Diane M. said...

I can't wait to read a copy of the book.

Michele Lee said...

LOL Fantastic! A legend in the making. You know I used to be so incredibly Anti-romance (because many members of my family read nothing but) but Dear Author and Smart Bitches helped teach me that it could be smart and a lot of fun too.

Kimberly B. said...

Hey, thanks for the great interview, Sarah. I especially enjoyed learning how you met the mister. I'll admit, I was never one for romances until I found your website. Thanks for always keeping us laughing!

Jaxon said...

Love this! I so need to get my hands on a copy of this book.

crazycommamomma said...

Fun(ny) interview! Can't wait to read this book!

Pat said...

Commeere smart bitchery book. Come to mama. Gimme, gimme, gimme some man titty snarkery.

Winning would be EPIC.

Jenna Bayley-Burke said...

I've been waiting to get this until Saturday - Candy is going to be at a readers luncheon I'm scheduled at.

macbeaner said...

what a fantastic interview! I really enjoy the SBTB blog! I can't wait to read the book! COngrats!

Judy said...

Hilarious interview! I have to get a copy :)

HockeyVampiress said...

Love the Smart Bitches Blog and stop by all the time....BKMKD!!! Kelley is an amazing writer and although I love Bitten too I favour Haunted....love my hockey boys!!! I would love to get ahold of this book and unless you deem me worthy and pick me it might be a while till I can afford it! :(
Shell the Hockeyvampiress

Angie Fox said...

Welcome, Sarah! We need to put a Diet Coke warning on your post as I nearly ruined the keyboard. Your book sounds fantastic - can't wait to get my hands on it.

tetewa said...

What a hilarious interview, cracked up a couple of times!

Lori T said...

At this point, my fifteen year old son thinks that I am seriously insane...okay, he may have thought that before he heard me laughing.

I have heard really great things about this and congrats on the release.

I would love to be entered.

VioletReads said...

I totally want that cookie recipe - they sound awesome! This was a fabulous interview, thanks!