Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The school of voodoo

Writing can be an educational experience. I've learned all kinds of things in the name of book research. But this new project has me scratching my head a bit. See, I'm researching voodoo. I thought I knew about it, you know, from visiting the occult shops in New Orleans. I even took the Marie Laveau tour. That has to be worth something, right?

But the more I dig into this new story, the more I see the difference between pop culture voodoo and the real thing.

For example, did you know that voodoo dolls are mostly used for good? They're supposed to be a help, not a hinderance. Also, most voodoo practitioners consider themselves good Catholics. I'm Catholic myself and I don't think the nuns in grade school would have appreciated me bringing Florida water (voodoo holy water) to school for the St. Peter Holy Water fount.

Oh well. I have learned some valuable things too, that I feel obligated to pass on to you:
# If you lay a broom across the doorway at night, a witch can't come in and hurt you.
# Having a woman visit you the first thing on Monday mornings is bad luck for the rest of the week.
# Don't borrow or lend salt because that is bad luck.
# If you sweep trash out of the house after dark you will sweep away your luck.
# Don't shake a tablecloth outside after dark or someone in your family will die.
# To stop a Voodoo spell being placed upon you, acquire some bristles from a pig cooked at a Voodoo ritual, tie the bristles into a bundle and carry them on you at all times.
# If a woman sprinkles some salt from her house to yours, it will give you bad luck until you clean the salt away and put pepper over your door sill.
# If a woman wants her husband to stay away from other woman, she can do so by putting a little of her blood in his coffee, and he will never quit her.
# If a woman's husband dies and you don't want her to marry again, cut all of her husband's shoes all in little pieces, just as soon as he is dead, and she will never marry again.
# You can give someone a headache by taking and turning their picture upside down.
# You can harm a person in whatever way you want to by getting a lock of his hair and burning some and throwing the rest away.
# You can make a farmer's well go dry by putting some soda in the well for one week, each day; then drawing a bucket of water out and throwing it in the river to make the well go dry

Now don't say you never learned anything on this blog.


Blodeuedd said...

I am loving those :D
I even feel inspired by them

Lisa D said...

Great post...Learn something new everyday.

The Juggalo said...

Hi, I wanna learn Voodoo to hurt someone (I know about the karmic consequnces and I'm willing to take my chances) could u please teach me how to make and use a voodoo doll for those propurses?