Thursday, December 17, 2009

Ditto, Lori!

I could definitely echo Lori's blog about guilt!! (Lori's not the only one to miss...I was absent last Thursday, for which I apologize!! And I did buy a first class ticket on that old "guilt trip" as a result.) See, like Lori, I don't feel good when I don't follow through with my commitments. I usually berate myself, feel unorganized, and just mentally wear a hair shirt for a couple of days over what I see as a lack in my behavior. Now, does anyone else jump on the band wagon and chastise me?? Nope. Would I chastise anyone else for the same thing? Nope. Most of the time, people are very understanding, just as I try to be when the shoe is on the other foot.

So here's my question...why do we beat ourselves up? Why are we willing to be kinder to others than we are to ourselves? Why can't we acknowledge that we're human and not "superwomen." I don't know...maybe it's that we hold our own behavior to too high a standard? (And that's not to say that it's okay to go the other way and blow everything off, but really, shouldn't we be able to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt once in awhile?)

I've pondered this question a lot, 'cause like Lori, I can always find something to feel guilty about. (And yes, loved my mother to death, but I'm pinning it on her...she's was an expert at making me feel guilty. ;) And sorry to say, I've probably done the same thing to my kids!!!) But you know, I've decided I'm going to try and change my frequent excursions down that well-worn road. As Christmas rolls around, a present that I'm giving to me is to be as kind to myself as I would be to someone else! I'll let you know how it works out!!! ;)

That's all for now-hope everyone is having a happy and healthy Holiday Season!



Casey said...

The world tells us we should be perfect, Shirley. Look at any women's magazine and you'll see perfect homes and perfect clothes and perfect make up and perfect children. And here we all are, striving to meet a standard that is, in fact, un-meetable. So yes, we all need to give ourselves a break. And we all need to realize that "perfect" doesn't exist, except in the pages of a magazine. I'm with you in believing that we can't just blow off our commitments, but there's got to be a middle ground. The best gift we can give to our daughters is to let them know that
perfect doesn't exist (not physical perfection, or academic perfection or romantic perfection) and that the perfect they are is perfect enough!

Lori Devoti said...

I blame my children. (why not I'm sure they will blame me for enough things later in life...) But (semi) seriously I think women's guilt is somehow tied to childbirth. Maybe it helped us survive from cave to suburbia?

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