Friday, April 8, 2011

Into the Darkness

Last night I had a very strange dream. It was late at night, and I was driving my car in a nearby town that I know very well. I was approaching a huge, busy intersection with a lot stores and stoplights and streetlights, and then suddenly, without warning, everything went black.

Not just the stoplights. Not just the streetlights. Not just the fluorescent signs.

The. Entire. Night.

Pitch black. Not even a star or the moon. And there were no sounds either. Complete silence.

It was as if an earth-sized, black-out blanket had been dropped over the world. Utter, impenetrable blackness to all my senses.

 Even though I knew exactly where I was, I had to stop the car. I sat there in this utter void of the senses, waiting for guidance before I could continue. I was calm as I waited, but I didn't drive because I didn't trust that my intuition knew where to go without all the guide posts.

And then, eventually, all the lights and sounds came back on. High levels of action. Construction trucks and yellow flashing lights in the middle of the intersection. Blue police car lights spinning furiously. Cops directing people around the construction. Total chaos and disarray. But somehow, without really having to try to figure out how to do it, I was able to maneuver my car around the obstacles (I did have to drive up onto the train tracks, but the cops didn't seem to mind), and then I was on my way.

Throughout the entire dream, there was no sense of panic for me. I was just calmly allowing things to play out, without judgment, without worry, without the need to forge forward in a frenzied rush to get somewhere.  

People say that dreams are a reflection of what you are experiencing in your life, so I've spent the morning thinking about that dream and what it meant. I realized that I'm at a place in my life where I've made some major shifts both personally and professionally. I haven't the slightest idea how I'm going to get where I want to go, and I don't even know exactly where it is I'm headed. I just know that I've made some really challenging (and scary & daunting) choices lately because my soul has been calling me in a new direction, but I don't know exactly where my next steps are going to be, or how to get there.

So right now, in real life, I'm sitting in the blackout that was my dream. My next steps are fuzzy, and I feel a little uncertain about how this is all going to unfold. But I do know that I'm going in the right direction (even if I don't know exactly what direction that is). And then, as the lights start to blink on, it's chaos. When those moments of clarity do come, it feels like I've taken on more than I can sort through.

To me, that dream was a statement of where I am (alternating between chaos and darkness), and it was the universe's way of telling me that I'm going to figure it out and get to the other side. There might be a little off-roading involved, but even that will be okay (the cops didn't give me a ticket, did they?). So, as I sit down at the computer this morning, I can take a big breath of relief. There's no need to panic. No need to try to rush to solutions. They will present themselves, as long as I stay calm and allow myself to see them.  Everything will be okay.

Phew! That is very good to know! I'm going to revisit that dream whenever things seem too much for me. I'm going to recall that sense of calmness, the lack of urgency to find answers right away, and allow things to unfold as they will.

My experience with my dream last night got me thinking about the power of dreams, and I'm curious about others who have had similar experiences. Have you ever had any dreams that were meaningful for you?


Shirley Damsgaard said...

Stephanie, I’ve come to believe that some dreams can be like a vent on a pressure cooker. If you can’t find a way to release something that’s bothering you while you’re awake, your subconscious will find a way to do it while you’re asleep. In my case, and it took me years to make the connection, I’ve found if I get really upset during the day and I don’t deal with it, that night I’ll have a dream about something that's very sad. And it’s at that point I usually wake up in tears. Didn’t cry during the day, so I’m going to cry in my sleep! One way or another, my brain is going to force those tears out! Weird, huh???
But these dreams taught me a lesson. Now I try and deal with upsetting situations as they happen, instead of shoving them to the side. It sounds like you’ve learned something from your dream, too!! 8)

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